The Disconnect.

Read: Its a bright sunny morning and you open your eyes but for some reason you don’t feel bright and sunny inside. That’s the morning I have someday’s and it bothers me because I can’t seem to figure out why. Do you ever wake up and feel down? You start your day expecting the worst, or even just feeling sad for absolutely no reason? There are times that this happens to me and it makes me feel so confused. I wonder if other people wake up this way or is it just me?

On days like these I could have the simplest conversation with someone, yet it could bring a thousand emotions out that I didn
‘t even realize I had. I automatically get the insecure feeling as if every person is against me that day. I try to tell myself its just me and its just a bad day. Its draining isn’t it? When you feel like something is wrong but you can’t seem to put your finger on it. Today is one of those days for me and I couldn’t figure out what exactly I should do to make it better. I kept staring at my phone, going back and forth through different conversations. Each one of these conversations were making me angry to look at, and then I was switching screens to open up something else that made me feel the same. Then I asked myself, why am I doing this?

PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN.

 

Do something productive. Isn’t there something better you have to do than be angry? Then I looked around and I saw my computer. HELLO! If you’re feeling a type of way, why don’t blog about it? That’s why I started the blog isn’t it? Then I tried to figure out what was it that made me hesitate? Maybe I felt this entry won’t be as interesting as the last. Or that maybe this entry wouldn’t have the same effect on people. I started this blog to show people that there’s everyday things that we go through and can relate to without even realizing.

I will have entries that will lure people in and have them feeling like they’re watching a movie. I’ll also have entries like this where its just my daily dose of emotions that I’m going through. In one way or another I do hope to help everyone and also share some of the raw stories I’ve experienced and never shared. The generation we live in now is so disconnected from the real world. The times where I do wake up in the morning not understanding my emotions I’ve noticed that when I do put my phone down I seem to feel so much better. I feel like a lot of us don’t take the time to sit and sink into our emotions anymore, including myself. We try so hard to bury and bottle them. It’s like we try to forget that we are human beings and its okay to feel. It is okay to cry for no reason, it is okay to not understand each and every bit of emotion. Crying is okay. It cleanses your soul.

I’m one of the most sensitive people you will ever meet. On the outside I have an attitude, I come off aggressive at times. When you get to know me you’ll realize my feelings get hurt more than I wish they would. The days that I wake up feeling flooded with emotions it scares me. I like to close myself off. There’s been so many times in my past that I opened up and shared my feelings to only receive hurt back. This is something I need to work on, and something I’m trying to change. As a person who is not perfect I want to share this change with all of you. I want to let people know, yes we go through experiences that hurt. Yes they may effect the way we act, think and feel. The important thing is that we realize this change and that we push forward to do what we need to fix it.

Relate: This blog is to let everyone reading know that you are never alone. Sometimes you will wake up feeling down, low, or even not good enough. This does not mean that something is wrong with you. There are days you will wake up feeling amazing, and others that you feel like the whole world is against you. The world is not against you. You are NOT crazy for having feelings or emotions. If anything you are doing what the rest of the world should allow themselves to do. You are allowing yourself to feel. When you wake up feeling this way take time for yourself. Allow yourself to DISCONNECT. Put your phone down. Ignore the text messages. Ignore the boyfriend/girlfriend you’re fighting with, the family member who is aggravating you. Take sometime to take a deep breath. Sit down and allow yourself to feel. Enjoy the moments of being you and appreciate the time we have on this earth.

Notate: Leave comments if you’ve ever experience similar emotions, or anything that you would like to share.